Radical Honesty

October 11, 2019 | By More

Recently I had the good fortune to be in attendance with twenty other folks at an intensive personal development retreat in the beautiful mountains of northern Greece on the Aegean Sea.

The retreat was held at the Alexandros location of the Kalikalos Holistic Healing Centres.  See: www.Kalikalos.com       

Our facilitators were two trained and highly skilled practitioners of the “Radical Honesty” international workshops, which were started in 1996 by Brad Blandon, a psychotherapist from Virginia, who wrote the book and designed the workshops on this topic. 

Many people walk around in a cloud of fantasies and projections.  They assume that what they think and feel is actually what is happening.  In an intensive crucible like this retreat, there is “no place to hide” from one’s veering away from reality.  Someone in the safe container of the group will let you know right away, hopefully in a non-judgmental way, that what is happening does not coincide with your version of reality.  The “safe container” of the group is implemented at the start by having each individual member verbally agree to assiduously adhere to a strict set of ground rules. The group process acts as a “flashlight” shone upon the disparity between the environment around a person and what they are expressing about their version of that reality.  It is not so much projecting that there is “one reality”. The focus in is on whether there is a disconnect between the person and what is going on around them. One of the real take-a-ways and challenges from this learning process is how to do this effectively after the workshop with family and friends.

The following is a sampling of some of the principles of this empowering life-style of radical honesty:

…Purge the concept of “SHOULD” from our thoughts and lexicon.

…Admit to oneself and to others what our own “PRETENDS” are. 

…Reduce the resistance to sharing “I APPRECIATE you for…..”

…Muster the courage to share an “I RESENT you for…..”   When the sender of the RESENT does this with ownership and reflection, they might realize that it is their own anger (and buried hurt) that is generating the “re-SEND-ment”.  It is like a “Re-Tweet” to oneself !  It is like seeing oneself in a mirror……

…When sharing an “I RESENT…”, it is very empowering to add “I IMAGINE that you are…” to the dialogue. It magnifies the idea that it is a futile attempt to project one’s own images onto another.  Welcome to the world of personal growth……….

Richard M. Haney, M.Ed., Ph.D. (Counselling and Mediation) 

Richard has been practising Wholistic Counselling, Coaching, Hypnotherapy and Mediation for the past 25 years in Ottawa.      

Richard by phone: (613) 234-5678. By e-mail: richard@magma.ca

Category: Articles, Counselling & Coaching

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