Pain vs Pleasure

September 10, 2019 | By More

Hello. Luke Michael Howard, clinical hypnotist and owner of Lukenosis Hypnosis, here today with a whiteboard. Yes. I’ve caught up with the times. I’m going to make a whiteboard video today. It’s all about motivation and why your motivation isn’t where it needs to be. We’ll look at why motivation doesn’t really work for us. I’m going to draw a beautiful line on this board right now and I will tell you, I did fail art A levels, that’s the English system at high school, if you will. So please do forgive my drawings.

See the whiteboard right there and this line, as straight as I can make it. On one end of this line, I’m going to put a P. That means pain: physical, mental, emotional, etc. On the other end, pleasure. I’m going to put a PL for pleasure. Then a PI for pain. That is total physical or emotional pain, trauma right down there. This is pleasure, this is what you’d want to get out of your life. Now, do forgive the lovely circle that’s been reflected and see it as a holy circle there and use this as a special video if you will. 

So let’s say you have a problem – Let’s say you are a smoker and you start off here, start off right in the middle. And then, you keep smoking, smoking, smoking, you start to have heart issues, your wife, your husband tells you you need to stop smoking or they’re going to leave you, right? Your kids see you smoking, they’re saying “Daddy, mommy, stop smoking.” This is really, really bad. You have a COPD, you’re all the way down there, you’re about to have a heart attack. Massive amount of pain, right? You’ve got your motivation to quit smoking at that point.

So then what happens is you get further and further away from the pain further and further away from the pain, COPD sorted itself out, wife/husband staying with you, kids aren’t bothering you anymore, and you’re there, that’s where you started. You’re thinking, “Oh, okay. Well maybe, I could try another cigarette right now because I’m not in any pain. I’ll be all right if I try another one.”

Then you go back along this journey again because you need to get your motivation, right? You smoke, you smoke, you’re breathing heavily, you get COPD, wife/husband’s bothering you, parents are bothering you to quit smoking, your clothes smell really bad when your partner kisses you. They taste it, your kids are seeing you doing it. You’re feeling really guilty, you’ve realized you’re spending four or five grand a year on cigarettes and you’re all the way back at pain again. You’re at that massive amount of pain. “Oh, I’m ready to quit right now. I’m ready to quit immediately. I’ve got all this pain in my life.”

Then, you start the journey again, COPD kind of works itself out, parents stop bothering you, partner’s still not bothering you anymore because you’re not smoking anymore, kids aren’t seeing you again, then you lose your motivation. You have to do it again and again and again. You have this vicious cycle.

I’m talking about smoking now but it’s the same thing with weight loss. Use this for weight loss. You’re gaining weight, you’re 10 pounds or more overweight, perhaps getting to 50 pounds overweight. Your wife or husband leaves you because you’re too fat. You sweat when you tie up your shoelaces now or walking up the stairs. And you’re so fat now you can’t fit in your clothes anymore. You go to the airport, you get in an aeroplane, you can’t fit in the seat comfortably anymore. You go to a theme park but they won’t let you sit on the chair because you’re fat. Spills over to other seat. You’re in a massive amount of pain now.

You’ve got a great amount of motivation to change it, to shift it. So you lose 5 pounds, 10 pounds, 20 pounds, 30 pounds, 40 pounds, you lose your 50 pounds. You’re great. You get right back here. You say to yourself, “If I eat a little a bit more now – sugar or junk, it won’t really matter because I’ve lost that weight.” So you start eating, gaining 5, 10, 20 pounds or more. You’re right back where you were at the beginning and now, you’ve got that hot poker in your butt, if you will, of pain.

You’ve got a massive amount of pain because you can’t breathe properly, you’re sweating all of the time, you don’t feel good about yourself, you’ve no energy, can’t sleep, can’t ever get comfortable. Now you’ve got a great amount of motivation to change again. That proverbial poker shows up again and you get further away from the pain. Lose those 10-50 pounds again, but you have to keep doing this loop over and over again to keep motivated. Think of Oprah Winfrey. Gain 100 pounds, lose 100 pounds, gain 100 pounds, lose 100 pounds. 

It works with addictions as well. Let’s say you’re an alcoholic. Insert your specific addiction here. And you’re okay, drinking a bit too much but it gets to a point where you lose your car, your job, perhaps you lose your children, you start to lose your mind. Maybe your driving license gets taken away from you because you’re driving while drunk, while impaired. You can’t think straight for yourself, you’re losing everything in your life, you hit rock bottom. You’re at pain. You’re right here, you’re at pain, you’re feeling a massive amount of pain for all those issues in your life.

Guess what? You’ve got some real motivation to change that. You feel that hot poker, you want to get to get your driving license back, get your kids back, get your job back, your wife back, your husband back. So you start to do whatever you need to. Stop drinking. You start to clean yourself out, feeling better and better. It’s been 10 days, 20 days, 30 days, 40 days. You tell yourself, I got this handled now. I can start drinking again. I’ve got my wife back, my husband back, my kids back, my driving license back, my job back.

I can handle a little bit of drink right now. Then it starts all over again. One drink, 2 drinks, 3 drinks, 4 drinks, or more. You lose your car, you lose your wife, your husband, your kids, your job and you start this vicious cycle all over again and again. That’s what motivation is folks. It’s transient. As soon as you achieve it, you say, “Well I’m not motivated anymore.” It’s like climbing to the top of Everest, you take all this time and effort to climb to the top. If you’re not fulfilled, you get to the top and you say, “Is this all there is? I thought the pearly gates were going to open for me. I thought there was going to be some cherub playing their rusty trombone for me. Is this it? Is this all that there is?”

It doesn’t work. Well, it works short term and it’s really quite effective for the short term. But long term, it doesn’t work. This is pleasure. You’re nowhere near pleasure. So as long as your motivation is about that, you stay trapped because that’s what motivation is for most people. Getting away from pain. Because most people will do far more to get away from pain than they will to get to pleasure. What if we turn that on its head? What if we stopped you from doing that vicious cycle inside your mind with whatever your problem is? Whether it’s an addiction, or an emotion, whether it’s a weight issue, anxiety, depression, it’s all the same loop over and over again. Ultimate pain.

So what about this? What about you get inspired instead of motivated? What if you stop focusing on, “When I lose that weight, I can gain all that weight back again and enjoy the meals.” “Once I’ve got my car back and my wife back and my kids back, I can start enjoying a little tipple of drinking here and there.” No. It doesn’t work. You’ve got to get inspired. What do you want? Not what you don’t want, what do you want? 

See, in my life, I ended up having these problems. Weight was an example for me. I’d lose 50 pounds, gain 50 pounds, lose 50 pounds, gain 50 pounds, massive amount of pain, couldn’t get girls to like me, couldn’t be successful in my job because I wasn’t walking my talk. So I did this loop over and over again but as soon as I got to here, I lost the motivation, gained all the weight back again in order for me to get motivated to lose it again. Vicious cycle, low level of living, low vibration of living. I was there. I know how it feels.

I know how it feels to be trapped in that continuing loop until one day, I said, “What if I focus my attention on what I want? I don’t want to be overweight, I want to be sexy, to be lean. Call me conceited if you will. What if it was about me being in the best health I could possibly be? Be in the best kind of shape that I could be? Not just getting away with only doing enough to not be in a massive amount of pain. If I focused my attention on being sexy, on being lean, on having the kind of physique that I wanted to have. Because I knew that if I focused on what I wanted, I’d get more of it. If I focused on what I didn’t want, I’d end up getting more of it be on the looping trend again. I sit with my clients over and over and over again. This does not work long-term folks.

It’s great motivation to pull yourself out of the flaming pit for a moment, for a few months. But you will keep going back because that’s how we motivate ourselves when it’s about getting away from pain. You’ve got to start motivating yourself. No, you’ve got to start inspiring yourself. Motivation is transient. It comes, it goes. Inspiration’s always there in the background. Like a screensaver on your computer. If you were to just stop for a moment, that screensaver would pop back up again.

So we need to end this in your life. I did have a beautiful cloth somewhere but that cloth’s gone right now. So I’m going to dirty my hands for you. I care about all of you when I’m doing these videos. What if we cleared all of that and what if you’re in a massive amount of pain now from your problem, whatever it was? You’re feeling it every day, moment to moment? It’s traumatizing you, it’s a 10 out of 10. But rather than just get to midway and then do that loop, what about if you focused on what you want? What if you suffer from the symptoms of anxiety and you’re saying, “I just don’t want to have panic attacks any day.” If I say to you, don’t think of a blue tree inside your mind right now, what do you have to do? You have to think of the thing you don’t want.

So, if you have an anxiety, instead of thinking, “Oh, I don’t want to have panic attacks,” don’t think of a blue tree. What about if you just stayed focused on what you wanted? I want to be free. I want to be happy. Have control of my biology, my mind, being free, having experiences I want to have, balance in my life. What if you were overweight? Massive amount of pain, right? Instead of saying to yourself, “Oh, I just want to lose the weight so I’m  not fat anymore”, you focus on, “I want to be sexy. I want to be lean. I want the best health that I can have for the rest of my life, so I can make the rest of my life the best of my life.” And you’re focused on this inspiration.

Motivation? Not what it’s cracked up to be. Inspiration? Awesome! What if the person is addicted to some kind of substance – cigarettes or drugging or drinking. Instead of, “I just want to be sober and I’m always going to be a victim and I’m always going to be an addict.” If you think like that, you’re going to be like that. It becomes your reality. What if you’re in a massive amount of pain for your addiction right now? You’ve hit rock bottom, you’ve hit your threshold, what would I like to have instead? I’d like to run my body, run my mind. I’d like to be happy, healthy, having social connections, romantic connections with people. Love and connecting with people deeply, having the best kind of health I can have. No longer trying to escape from some kind of pain that’s unresolved in my life. Because I resolve all of my issues day to day and have beautiful connections. What if you focused on what you wanted? What if you gave yourself that pleasure?

This is all about being inspired, folks. Motivation? Not what it’s cracked out to be. Looping – end it now. You know the best time to cut the loop is, to finish the loop? As soon as you realize you’re looping. Cut the loop now. Get rid of your transient motivation. Inspiration. Motivation from pain? No more. This motivation dies very, very quickly. Motivated by pleasure, what you want in your life, inspiration stays the whole time. So where do you need to be inspired in your life to make those shifts? Think about it. Get inspired. Focus on what you want. Focus on the pleasure of what you want. If you want to see that lovely board a bit closer, there you go

Always Believe,

Luke Michael Howard PhD

Ottawa Clinical Hypnotist

Category: Articles, Health & Natural Therapies

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