October 10, 2017 | By More

I am dedicated to being fully HERE, fully REAL, and fully CONSCIOUS.  To being totally honest with myself.  To being able to maturely assimilate all the good and bad in each precious moment.  To taking down all masks.  This is what I strive for…“Maskless Living”.  This is my life challenge.   

As a young man, I worked in child protection for the Children’s Aid Society of Toronto.  That’s where I learned about the importance of creating flexible boundaries when dealing with abused and neglected children.  When I began working there, I thought that being totally open and into loving-kindness was the best way to give the children a model of what they had not experienced with their abusive family.  However, it turned out that this was one of the worst ways for me to approach them because they were suffering from what is called “a pattern of rejection”. They experienced loving-kindness as a threat. I had to learn to approach each child and each situation with a set of flexible boundaries that could be adjusted as needed. I could choose my boundaries with full consciousness.  Years later I discovered that what I was doing back then was what C.G. Jung described as, “dis-identifying with one’s persona”.  Since many people are trapped in their persona, he suggested letting our true personality shine through the persona.

Recently, when I was up-dating my Will, “Living Will”, and Powers-of-Attorney, I decided to design my own eulogy so that someone else would not have to try to second guess what my wishes and thoughts are regarding my legacy.  I have entitled it, “Maskless Living”.  Being without a mask does not mean being defenseless.  On the contrary, a person can actually be completely into serendipity and synchronicity and still continuously and wisely navigate their way through virtually any situation.  Interestingly, Constantin Stanislavski, a Russian theatre director and one of the first great acting coaches, developed a system of acting that resulted in stage performances that were magical.  When the actor’s real “emotional memory” intersects with the emotions required to play a particular character, the actor is actually “living in” the character.  The actor completely connects with the role. This is the opposite of being “type-cast”, or trapped in a role.

By Richard M. Haney, M.Ed., Ph.D. (Counselling and Mediation)

Richard has been practising Wholistic Counselling, Coaching, Hypnotherapy and Mediation for the past 25 years in Ottawa.      

To contact Richard please call (613) 234-5678 or send an e-mail to          

Category: Articles, Counselling & Coaching

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